My story is a little bit different than most of the ones this ministry was founded for - those who have lost a child they loved from the moment of conception.  My babies were not - they were torn from me by my own choice, not one, but two.  I offer my story not as an excuse, for it is well known that many women have had abortions, but hopefully for others to see the struggles that people go through.  Struggles that we have no idea about because good people don't talk about these things. My memory of my story begins at about 6 or 7, but may go back farther, I cannot be sure.  My father, whom I looked up to and thought was the most wonderful man in the world, sexually abused me for many years.  As a child, I thought I was the only one getting this special treatment, which made me feel somehow special because of it.  As an adult I have found out that I was not only one.  In my late twenties I confronted him, only to be told that was how he loved me.  He thought it was as acceptable as the rain falling from the sky and he had no idea or concern of how his actions affected the many children he abused. So, as a young adult, sexual freedom and short-term relationships were a normal part of living.  There was always time to get married, have children.  Abortions were the only way to handle the occasional problem.  There was no way I would sacrifice nine months of my life just to give a child to someone else.  So the story goes for many women in this world.  And with it goes hurt, pain and a life of regret for the lost children. Although I have gone through many years of counseling in hopes of finding a wonderful life, most of it addressed the abuse, not the abortions.  Through my friendship with Ronda, and involvement in this ministry, I have been able to love my babies, knowing Jesus has cared for them much more that I ever could.  Through the blankets - one for each baby, I was able to hold something that represented them and to love and care for them in those moments.  Through this process, to also come to know that I am forgiven by them, by God and eventually even by myself. People go through so much in this life that most people are not aware of.  God helps us through as much as we allow Him to.  Through the sorrows and pain, I believe that it is an opportunity to continue to grow closer to the God who created us with all of the needs that we have.  As Ronda was told years ago, and passed it on to me, "God gives us time and space to work through the hard things in life."  Through this ministry and through Ronda, He has given me the time, space and loving support to work through some of the hurts in life. Sabra Sabra and I met first through a women's group I facilitated in my home called H.U.G.S. (Help, Understanding, Growth and Support).  She was the first to "put her thumb in my back" and to say, "Get going!  You need to launch The Billy Project, and when you do I'd like the first blankets in memory of my babies."  God has done some incredible things in Sabra's life since that time, growing her up in Him into a beautiful, godly woman.  I am honored to call her my friend.  Ronda Lisa's Story