Dear Friend,
I had a rough night last night. That happens sometimes. A few weeks back I gave Rob (my husband) a specific request, "If you can tell I am struggling in my sleep, will you just wake me up?" I vaguely remember him waking me in the night with a, "Honey, you're having a bad dream."
Sometimes I have them and always I hate them. It's great to wake and find the real world still intact. No matter how hard life gets, it's never as bad as my dream.
You know what I'm talking about, don't you? It's really hard, isn't it? It's a fact, you know, that when one is sleep deprived everything is thrown off kilter. Exhaustion makes it hard to tackle life.
Before I share on a more personal level, I have a question for you: "When's the last time you had a thorough physical?" If it hasn't been in the last year, how about picking up the phone and scheduling an appointment with your doctor. Sometimes there are physical reasons why we can't rest - a little tweeking here and there and we can sleep like a baby once more.
Most often I've discoverd that the bad dreams come when my life is in upheaval or I have unresolved issues that I really need to deal with. When I first came back to Colorado after Eddie's arrest, I had lots of nightmares. I've had them at other times in my life as well. As I said in my opening remarks, I still have them sometimes.
I'm wondering if maybe you've kept some terrible memories to yourself? If so, I want to encourage you at the beginning of this letter to find a safe someone to talk to.
I've found comfort God's word, and I'd like to share with you something that has been helpful to me. If you have a Bible, and you're comfortable marking in it (I AM) I would encourage you to underline or highlight the verses I am going to give to you. It would be good if you could memorize them so they are at the ready in the dark of night. Make it your goal to learn one or more of them a week. Choose one, copy it onto a 3x5 card. Take it with you, in your pocket or purse. Prop it on the dashboard in the card. Tape it to the mirror in the bathroom. Read it several times a day. Maybe take a verse each day and journal about it. Before you know it, it will be yours.
Why do I suggest this? There is power in the Word of God to heal our hearts.
In October of 1979, long before Eddie was arrested, I kept having a recurring dream. It was very frightening, and I felt helpless against it. In the dream, something would come into the room - a presence I could feel, but I could not see. It was very sinister. Since I couldn't see what it was, I could not identify it and could not fight it. I dreaded going to sleep at night because I was afraid I would have the dream.
One night before going to bed, I read this scripture: "And I have put my words in your mouth, and covered you with the shadow of mine hand . . ." (Isaiah 51:16)
I kept saying that verse over and over and over until I knew it well. When I went to sleep that night the dream came again. But, this time, it was incredible. This time - even though I could still feel that sinister presence - this time a shadow settled over me. Not a frightening shadow, but a comforting shadow . . . like when a cloud passes before the sun on a really hot summer day giving you a break from the sweltering rays. In my dream I knew, I just knew, that it was the shadow of God's hand, and the evil presence left. It's been twenty-nine years, and that dream came back only one other time. I'm not promising that if you just memorize a verse the bad dreams will go away. But, I am saying that putting God's word in your heart will give you a weapon to use against the enemy when he torments you with the dreams.
These are the verses I'd like you to hide in your heart:
"When I am afraid, I will trust in God." (Psalm 56:3)
"Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you. Surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10)
"I will lay me down in peace, and sleep, for thou, Lord, only makest me dwell in safety." (Psalm 4:8)
"It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows; for He giveth His beloved sleep." (Psalm 127:2)
"When thou liest down, thou shalt not be afraid: yea, thou shalt like down, and thy sleep shall be sweet." (Proverbs 3:34)
"He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: He that keepeth thee will not slumber. Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep . . . " (Psalm 121:3,4)
"Even the darkness is not dark to thee, and the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to Thee." (Psalm 139:12)
"Pile your troubles on GOD's shoulders--He'll carry your load, He'll help you out. He'll never let good people topple into ruin." (Psalm 55:22)
"For thou art my lamp, O Lord, and the Lord illumines my darkness." (II Samuel 22:29)
"The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime; and His song will be with me in the night, a prayer to the God of my life." (Psalm 42:8)
"Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed. I cry out to God Most High, to God, who fulfills {his purpose} for me. He sends from heaven and saves me, rebuking those who hotly pursue me; Selah. God sends his love and his faithfulness." (Psalm 57: 1)
It IS worth it, dear friend. Don't give up! Deep breath, dear friend. Don't panic. God is bigger than these nightmares.
Love, Ronda
P.S. There have been times when I have slept with my Bible, and that has given me comfort too just because it reminds me of WHOSE I am. Do you sleep with a night-light on? Listen to soft, comforting music as you are going to sleep? These are just a few suggestions. Remember the darkness is NOT dark to Him.
When all else fails, do as David suggested in Psalm 63:6 (The Message), "If I'm sleepless at midnight, I spend the hours in grateful reflection." Not bad advice, huh?
©rjknuth2008
